Empathetic Pisces

What if during covid there was an energy shift where the higher vibrating individuals that walked among us were radiating at such a high frequency. So, to keep their higher energy from radiating and activating others to wake up to the madness that was going on around us, the government released "the virus" Covid. Keeping everyone in the masks allowed for them to not take in the higher frequency, new energy (clean air) during that timeframe. Those that didn't wear masks, they were able to soak up more of the higher vibrations (clean air) because they continued to go out and live life, grounding with the mother nature, being one with self and not following the social norm of listening to outside of oneself on how to live their human life. Just think of how people have changed since Covid. How all ages are seeing things differently and being open about it. How those that masked up and acted a pure fool (cleaning out all the stores for things that they really didn't need) because they were fear mongered into thinking they would be trapped at home forever, instead of taking that time to get more in tune with self. They literally shoved it in our faces that we didn't have to work to live. All we had to do was enjoy life and help each other not to overconsume on things that didn't really mean anything or have value. Life's experiences are more valuable than anything. Experiences teach you what is real and what isn't. Experiences teach you that two different things can be true at the same time. Experiences teach you that love is truly the actions behind the words. Love is a verb! Experiences teach you fear is only in your head because you can't control the outcome. Experiences teach you that people put value in material things to divide themselves from people they used to be like. Experience teaches you feelings are just triggers from past experiences whether good or bad. Experience teaches you that YOU determine what's good or bad, and YOU determine what emotion to express from that. Experience teaches you that you decide what to hold on to and what to let go of. So why hold on to the bad things and not focus on the millions on good things that happen daily? I am grateful for all my experiences and as I look back over my life, I'm the only one that is focusing on those few bad things that I had willingly participated in, knowing I should have never entertained them to begin with.  

It's my birth month and when I tell you my higher ups don't play about ME!! January was my test month to see if I am really sticking to my guns and moving into this new chapter of my life with no regrets of letting go of my past life. I didn't wish anyone a happy new year, I didn't reach out to old friends, or family that I removed from my life the prior year. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't look back or go back to my old ways. Ways that weren't making me happy. February 1st was the confirmation that shit is about to get real. That whole day was truly a confirmation. I started out with taking a half day off of work, went to my scheduled Dr's appointment because I wanted to get off on a good start with my physical and mental health. After that I took myself out to lunch and on my drive to the restaurant, I noticed two hawks flying overhead. Hawks are my spirit guides, when they come around, I know goodness is coming to me.  To my surprise someone happily paid my bill. The bartender who waited on me had the same name as my manager and she was the sweetest person. So, since I didn't have to pay my bill, I gave her a nice tip and gave the person that paid my bill the biggest hug before I left. I had the biggest smile on my face leaving out of there. February 2nd was a catch-up day at work, but it was still a good day. I ran out to the store and as I was checking out a lady in line forgot her debit card in the car and I paid for her purchase. No hesitation at all. It felt good. I get home and get a text from a moving company letting me know who my rep would be if I decided to use them whenever I move. Well wouldn't you know when I checked my email, I got a message from the apartment complex I had checked out a few weeks prior. Honestly hadn't thought much of it because I told myself I was living in the moment and if it was meant to be then Source would send it my way. Woke up Saturday morning and filled out the application and before the money was taken out my account for the application fee, I got an approval email, and the property manager was calling me to go over everything! Baby!!! Universe and Source don't play about me. I realized that once I started to focus on the positive and just let things flow, it flows heavily for me. I am so worthy of all the goodness that has come to me. So, after dropping off some paperwork to the complex I needed to pick up a prescription and you guessed it, it was FREE!!!  I am getting my flowers while I'm living. Universe is showing me I am worthy, and I am being rewarded for the seeds I have sown over the years. Believing in Alicia and pouring into myself is the best thing I have done for myself. Letting go of what doesn't serve me has opened up the door for so much that's going to come to me. I am trusting in myself more and my intuition is leading me to great things. I no longer look to others for confirmation on anything in my life.  I am moving in silence and expressing my gratitude for all that is being granted to me. I am not attaching myself to any person, place or thing that may keep me from reaching my highest potential. My higher self will guide me from here on. I am no longer the friend who offers herself up for things that I know I don't want to be a part of. I am not the friend you can call and confide in, anymore. I'm not the "let me vent to you" friend anymore. If you are not trying to solve the problem, then you are part of the problem. I am not the friend that goes out of her way to figure it out for others that are capable of figuring it out for themselves. If I am not getting anything out of it, then it's not for Alicia. I am living in my true self. I needed to be in isolation to figure out what I wanted and how I wanted my life to be moving forward. I am not the person they use to get over on. Alicia is putting Alicia first at all costs. 2024 will be the year of accomplishments for me. I will NOT feel bad about anything that allows me to be a better person for me. I am Love, I am Light, I am God, I am Worthy. I will no longer humble myself for anyone. I will speak loudly of my blessings because I am not ashamed of the hard work that I put in to be where I am. I will praise Source and the Universe out loud for what they have provided me. I will no longer be silent to make others feel ok about themselves. I will not diminish my glow or shine, so they don't feel some type of way. It's love me as I am or leave me be. I will be ok I promise!

I was relaxing one evening after work and a thought came to me. A thought of how we manifest people into our lives, for the situation we're going through at the time. The first person that surfaced for me was seeing how me and a lady I met while working for a company I was employed with for about 15yrs. She was the mother I never had. She basically took me under her wings and guided me through a prominent part of my life as I was dealing with being pregnant by my daughter's father and going through all that drama, she always spoke love into me and made me feel like I was the daughter she never had. No matter what, she was there for me. Through all my heartaches, fun times, and just when I needed some motherly advice she was there. Even outside of work, I would go visit her and we'd sit for hours just talking and laughing about life. And in that I now see that I was the younger version of her. A single mother doing what she needs to do to raise her child. For her she was living with her mother, for me I was living with my then boyfriend, and soon after raising my daughter alone. We both sacrificed so much so our child would not go without, even when we at times went without, or dealt with individuals we didn't really care for. She taught me how to take up for myself, how not to let anyone take advantage of my kindness. How to carry myself as a lady and would definitely put me in my place if I was in the wrong. She pushed me to do things I would have never got the courage on my own to do. No matter what I never judged her for who she was and what she did outside of our relationship. This opened up a bigger doorway to others in my life and how we mirror each other. While spending time at my mom's house, I saw how my mother gets to see the relationship between my sister and niece.  It's the relationship my sister wanted with her. My sister allows her daughter to enjoy her childhood. She doesn't put adult responsibilities on her. She has real life conversations with my niece and leaves the door open to ask questions about anything. They have a mother daughter bond we wished we had with our mother. Also, my sister and niece live with my mom, so it's a time for my sister to have her time with my mom and work out any of those old feelings she's holding on to. I've forgiven and moved on from my past. This year I released so many people from my life. I saw how I manifested them due to whatever I was going through at the time to use it as an excuse of why I wasn't making needed decisions in my life. I wasn't confident in myself or was so wrapped up in my people pleasing, that I manifested these indivuals to help me along my way. Once you heal from the situation you're going through, those people eventually leave your life beacuse you no longer need them. Some only held me up from my true purpose and some propelled me there even quicker. Either way, I learned from them, and I regret nothing at all because it has made me who I am. But now when new people come into my life, I will know to ask myself why they are here and what's going on with me, that needs them around.  

It's been a while since I've posted. I wanted to take the time to live in the moment. I needed to really see how my ife has changed and is continuing to change for the better. My mornings start with giving thanks for allowing me to be a part of another amazing day. "They say life is what you make it." Speaking my afirmations and listening to more inspirational music. I've even started listening to some classical music. I open up all the blinds and my patio door and listen to the birds as they start to move about. The crows sound off as the Hawk flies overbove and the cardinals stop by from time to time. There is a blue bird couple that lives on the edge of the building and it's cool to watch them play around. The dog owners are out early walking their pets before they head to work. Traffic starts to pick up on the side street and the maintenance guys start clanking around. And this is all before I log in to start my day. Glaceon gets his last zoomy session in before he starts to wind down for his morning nap. Once I'm logged in and caught up on emails, I make breakfast, take a shower and just sit and take it all in. Some days I don't leave the house. I'm starting to move about with more intent. If it's not a neccesity then I don't force myself to be out in the hussle and bussle. I do get most of my errands done during the week, so Saturday and Sunday are my days to do whatever I feel like. And I don't feel bad if I do nothing at all. My house is clean, I've done laundy, and gotten groceries during the week so it leaves my weekends to be as lazy as I chose to be. I don't have to get up early, but I do wake up early regardless. but I can lay in bed and scroll social media, play my games, or just lay there and listen to the outside world start to wake. I have caught some great moon settings during the full moons. The sky is so beautiful in the mornings as the sun comes up. I give myself grace and mercy now. I give thanks to myself for coming this far and staying strong during the hard times. I speak love and light into Me. Expressing how proud I am of myself for not giving up. For taking the leap when I was scared of the unknown. For speaking up for myself. For accepting things, I can't change and letting go fo what doesn't serve me anymore. I've let go of friendships I thought would always be around, and I don't speak to my family as much, but I am so ok with it. It was needed to get me to where I am and where I'm going. So, each day I live in the day. I take what comes and live on facts not feelings. I move with intent and knowing that whatever happens it's happening for me and not to me. I'm trusting myself more and making decisions because I am listening and trusting my intuition. My Higher Self speaks to me in the early mornings when it's extra quiet and still. Those 3am wake up calls be so refreshing after I get over my "why are you waking me up so damn early" moment LOL. I will tell anyone, just live in the moment. Don't stress about the what if. Don't worry about "the rainy day" and stop stressing about when, how, and where. It will all come together when you stop and just live in the moment. 

Once I started to realize everything is just personal preference, perspective, and opinions, things started to mak sense. We start off as a blank slate (infant stage), and as we grow things are implanted in us. But around toddle stage is where we start to come into ourselves and able to express our likes and dislikes. That's when we are challenged on our beliefs for ourselves. That's when our parents start to tell us what's socially appropriate to make us acceptable to others and push their beliefs on us. What would have happened if our parents didn't push us into society's ways and let us live our lives in a way that made us happy wihtin ourselves? I am sure there would be less push back and there would be less depression and anxiety in children as they started to mix and mingle with others. If parents supported their kids and didn't try to tell them what's best for them to save face from others, kids wouldn't be as hard to raise as they appear. Think about it. If your child is happy within themselves, they have nothing but positivity to project outwards. They would be able to express themselves without worry or concern of how others view them. They would be secure in themselves. If parents didn't project their past experiences on their kids, more kids would be happy go lucky, living a carefree life as an induvial and not trying to fit in where they are truly uncomfortable. 

Growth and change are part of this journey. In order to grow you have to change how you view the world around you. Once you make the decision you no longer want to continue living the way you have been, you start to set things in motion for change to happen. You also have to physically and mentally prepared for what's to come with those changes. For me, I have been in survival mode for so long that any little change I felt like it wasn't working for me but against me. I depended on others to create my happiness and it got me nothing but disappointment. I was holding on to the old so hard that I was making it harder for me to accept the new. I wanted those people, places, and things to change and grow along with me, so I didn't have to leave them behind. I realized I had to let go of the baggage. The song Bag Lady is a great example of what I am referring to. Where I'm going and trying to accomplish, I can't take the old with me. It's like growing 2 sizes bigger and still wanting to fit into those old jeans. They don't flatter you anymore and it's time to give them up. I'm ok with letting it all go now. I'm ok with being my true self and being alone as I take this journey.

Have you ever sat and thought about who you really are? I mean I know who I have trained myself to be and who I allowed other people to groom me to be, but at times I don't know who I really am. I trained and was groomed to be a good daughter for my parents, I trained myself to be a good sister, granddaughter, friend, girlfriend, mother, and employee. But Who Am I really? I always wanted to strip myself down to nothing, wake up each day to do what makes me happy, and just let things manifest organically. All that I have accepted as my life thus far, I want to just make it all go away and start all over. Not being influenced by what others think or feel, but just doing what natually comes to me.

If you don't believe in yourself then you are allowing things outside of you to dictate your life's purpose. It took me a long time to realize how I am the one that determines how my life plays out. I have to make choices that will benefit me. I have to listen when the little voice inside of me that is giving me all the answers I need. There are times where it's hard to let go of something that's been a big part of your life but as you begin to see things differently, you understand letting go is what's needed. It opens you up for so much more greatness to come in. I have learned to sit with myself in quietness and really pay attention to what comes to me. There are always signs to lead me in the right direction. I have to be willing and open to those signs. Yes, change is hard, but it's only hard if you are not willing to make the changes. Believing in me and knowing that everything is working out for the best, even if it does not feel like it. I continue to walk in my faith. Knowing that my life is changing for the better and it only delays my blessing by not listening and believing in myself. I am deserving, I am worthy, I am abundantly and devinely protected at all times. Trusting and Believing in Me has elevated me to a higher level in life. I am truly grateful!

I used to think I'd always have certain people in my life. You know when you meet someone and you hit it off and become friends for multiple years, childhood friends, friends you meet in school, or you meet that one man who makes you believe you found your happily ever after. Then the Universe says "NOPE" they're a lesson you need to learn from this situation. Or you start to elevate, and you no longer relate to the things you used to, so the converstations get shorter and you don't hear from them as much. Or you realize the relationship isn't what you hoped it would be. Now you are faced with moving on and letting go of what has been so familiar to you. Now it's like you want them to see what you see, or know what you know, so they can elevate with you. But eventually you realize, you have to let them go. The stagnancy becomes so overwhelming that it's like you are being suffocated. You know you have to move on but you're holding on so tight to what you should have been let go. And all these feelings and emotions are taking over you and the people pleasing starts to kick in and now you are holding back because you don't want them to be made at you or think think, that you think you are better than them, and you make up all these scenarios in your head. You ask yourself why they can't just do the work and see how much better things are, once the work is done. Now I detach myself emtionally from things that don't serve me. I had to let everyone go to see who was truly for me. I had to see if I was sticking around because of my people pleasing, or if they truly serve a purpose in my life. I only focus on the now and how things affect me in the moment. Potential is no longer in my vocabulary when it comes to relationships. If a person isn't where I need them to be when I meet them, it's a pass. I no longer give people the benefit of the doubt. I accept people for who they are and for what they show me at that time. Letting go has allowed me to make room for what is truly for me. 

Once you start your spiritual journey, you start to look at yourself differently. You start to understand why you move the way you do, think the way you do, and react to situations the way you do. Things you thought were real and/or true, you will now start to question. You start to dig down deep into the root of why things are the way they are. I've started to sit with myself and quiet my mind. The downloads that come to me have helped me become a better person for MYSELF. Today as I was chilling on the couch, scrolling through social media, I realized why I don't celebrate, or care to celebrate Holidays. I used the, "oh it's a made-up thing and people take them too seriously, it's just a way to keep us on the hamster wheel", but nope, none of that was the REAL reason.  It all comes down to, no one has ever taken the time out to get to know me enough to gift me or celebrate me correctly. I was always going out of my way to make sure the gift I gave was thought out, so they would truly love the gift. I always went above and beyond for those I cared for. But it always seemed like I was an afterthought. NO, it's not always the thought that counts. That's just bullshit. But now i see how I played a major part in the continuous disappointment. I never stood up for myself. I never told them how I truly felt, because I didn't want to hurt their feelings, or ruin their special day. I mean even on my birthday, no one would truly go all out for me. It was always delayed or forgotten about. I just accepted it and moved on and tucked those feelings away. All this changes today. Now that I have been working, loving, and pouring into ME. I'm feeling like I want to start back celebrating those fun Holidays in the way that makes ME happy. I am starting new traditions of happiness, inclusiveness, appreciation, and having a safe space to openly and honestly express myself!

Remember when conspiracy theories were just that, A Theory! Now things are hitting so close to home, you question everything you were ever told. When people spoke crazy of the government, you were looked at as a traitor.  HOW COULD YOU??? Or spoke bad about a celebrity or well-known person they related with; they would call you every name but the child of GOD.  Now as you have pulled away from society and started to focus on yourself and what that intels, you see things from a different vantage point. Those times you would questioin things and poeple told you, you were crazy. Those times you had the feeling of familiarity; it was your intuition letting you know to step aside. Now I see why the older generations said children are to be seen and not heard. Don't interupt grown folks talking. They knew the fresh new souls knew the truth and had not been brainwashed yet. Oh, he moving too fast, you need to slow him down, WHAT kind of mess it that to say? Or she too smart to be that young, babies not supposed to be doing this or that so young, we delay our kids from being who they truly are. WE cause the disruption in these kids that want to excel, they know what they know but the brainwashed adult doesn't want these new souls coming in influencing the controlled. We cause the mental illness of these kids that only want to live their true life, doing whatever makes them happy. But the controllers have spent too many years and too much money, implanting certain information for the program they have set up. Once you begin to question everything, you find out what you already knew, but it was slowy pushed to the back of your mind due to the new programing that you were born into. Remember when everything was just "TALK", you don't personally know anyone that went through what the "conspiracy theorists" be talking about. But now you can see firsthand how they put these plots together and if you pay attention long enough you will see they all coincide with each other at one point or another.